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November 16, 2004
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If Heaven Was... by Zephyri If Heaven Was... by Zephyri
Category>Traditional Art>Drawings>Fantasy
Edit: uploaded a better scan, as I wasn't happy with the first one. Sorry for the repetition for those of you who have me on your devwatch.

Deep breath... I really donít know where to start with this piece...

Every now and again in life, you will come across someone who really understands you, who sees the world in the same way you do. You may only meet them briefly, you may know them all your life, but they inspire something in you, sparks something that leaves a flame burning for a long time after.

I knew such a man once. He won me over with the first sentence he spoke, and I came to respect him more than I have anyone else in my life. He opened my eyes to the gift I have and taught me to look at the world through the eyes of an artist. I think he alone saw the potential that lurked beneath a young girlís scribblings, though I wasnít ready to appreciate it then, he helped mould me into what I am now. In return, I worked ceaselessly to make him proud, and would have gone to the ends of the earth to see that smile on his face that said Iíd met his expectations.

He passed away suddenly nearly five years ago, and I had not seen him for two years when it happened. I read of his death in the paper, and since that moment of utter disbelief, every time I have picked up a pencil or laid down a stroke with a paintbrush his memory burns brighter. The fire he lit has become a raging inferno, but it is tempered with regret. I regret never thanking him, even though I perhaps never realised what he had given me until death stole him from me. Now I think of him constantly nd miss him more than the crudeness of words can express. I feel his presence is strongest when I look at the stars, as I like to think when they twinkle that little bit brighter, that is his way of telling me he knows. I donít think Iíll ever meet such a man again. To his dragon, I was but a simple fairy. And still am.

So this piece is a reflection of all that... the desire to put to paper that which keeps the fire of inspiration burning in me. So if heaven was a well of wishes, my first would be a simple thank you.

Thanks Mr D, wherever you are...
____

My thanks also to ~serp-stock for providing just the right reference shot for the body.
Karisma Pencils on black A3 card
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:iconwolfysnackrib:
WolfySnackrib Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2012
I had a wise man in my life with me, all my life. He was my father. He's the strongest, toughest, most wise and insightful individual that I have ever met. I'm 22 now and he died a month back. The world won't be the same without him. I can relate to what you're saying.
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:iconzephyri:
Zephyri Featured By Owner Oct 27, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
My deepest condolences for your loss, it means a lot to me that you can relate with your own experiences through this piece.
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:iconwolfysnackrib:
WolfySnackrib Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2012
Yes, and I feel lucky to have been his son. He was like a god to me. In which case, I suppose I could brag about being a demigod. ;)
But he was a very mystical man. Other than being a grand painter artist and having a very fascinating life full of extraordinary experiences, he also displayed strange powers. Like an ability to channel his bodily energies to heal ailments like almost lethal concussions, infections, even help stop the blood flow in wounds of others. If he ever cut himself deeply on something, he could decrease the blood flow just by control of his mind. He also claimed to have past life memories, and not just fragments. I was always deeply fascinated, listening to him retelling lots of memories that he had. I know there's no objective evidence and that the rational thing to do is to be skeptic about such things, but since he was my father and I saw demonstration of what a peculiar individual that he was, I always felt genuinely convinced that his peculiar claims are true. Not because I find any of them comforting. The reason is that I'm convinced that he isn't crazy or lying, but telling the truth. I don't try to preach stuff like this to anyone else of course. Especially not since I'm an atheist without religious belief in anything dogmatic. I encourage people to question everything, to be rational and not listen to hearsay. And you hearing this from me is of course hearsay. None the less, my father was the best person I ever met. So caring, devoted, and brave too. A natural leader and strategist. I'm not surprised about his claims that some of his previous lives involved battle, because he really has the personality of someone who has their shit together and natural ability to lead. Ah I talk too much about these things. I figure I should finish this comment now.
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:iconzephyri:
Zephyri Featured By Owner Oct 29, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
No worries on talking... sometimes it's just good to let it out, and I find the whole story fascinating myself, as someone who finds it hard to quantify what I believe in, spiritually. What matters ultimately though, is what it all meant to you, regardless of what other do or don't believe.
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:iconwolfysnackrib:
WolfySnackrib Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2012
I disagree from one perspective. If one say that what's important is what it means to me, that's as if saying my belief is justified just by me deciding I am justified, and if that clashes with reality, it can do harm to society if big groups follow along with it. That's how religion sweeps in and undermines the progress of mankind. But as one individual person that don't have a negative impact on the future of the world, then sure, from my perspective it matters for me, to me, rather than that it matters to anyone else.
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:iconsinister-scribe:
Sinister-Scribe Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2011
that's beautiful, i'm ready to cry, lol

seriously though, the words and the image. I know someone like that. I haven't seen her in a while either, perhaps it's time to look her up again. I have no idea how to find her, but i have to try :)

And, for what it's worth, i think he knows.
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:iconzephyri:
Zephyri Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2011  Professional Digital Artist
Aw, thank you.. always leaves me with goosebumps whenever someone says that. And do what you can, even if you don't find her, you'll know you made the effort, which I didn't. :(
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:iconsinister-scribe:
Sinister-Scribe Featured By Owner Oct 21, 2011
I managed to track her down last night, turns out that facebook does have a use. I sent her an email, i don't know if she got it, but i tried, so i feel better for it.

Lol, she probably doesn't even remember me, but you're right, i had to try.

I don't think you should feel bad about you not actually telling him, i think he knew. He must have, he watched you grow into an artist of significant talent, i don't think he'd have been oblivious to the effect he had on you.

He knew, i'm sure of it :)
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:iconpearleace:
Pearleace Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2011
This is a very magnificent piece. Thank you for sharing your story, at the moment I'm going through something rather similar~
It speaks for my heart also, better than I could express it myself. So, thank you for posting. :heart:
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:iconryuu-alvara:
Ryuu-Alvara Featured By Owner Aug 29, 2011  Student Artist
wow. the artwork itself is beautiful and lovely, but i think you have a talent with words. what you listed in the artists comments is so deep, i nearly cried.
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